SUMMARY

• “We've heard over and over again that if you look at the three to five people that you spend the most time with, you can readily predict your financial future, your level of happiness, and your health and well being.”
• “One of the biggest mistakes that I see people make in regard to friendships is they have people in their space simply because they've been in their space.”
• “Really ask yourself: Is this relationship moving me toward and supporting who I want to become, who I want to evolve into, that which I want to create in my life?”
• If you’re looking for tips on how to show up in a different way to support your friendships, this episode is for you.
• Watch the video to get the full training.

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 Full Transcript:

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Joey’s Performance Tune Up With Joey Klein. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Joey speaking unscripted and unedited. This video is captured in one take.]

The more time that you spend with somebody, the more discerning you should be about the quality of that person you're spending time with. And the reason that this is so very important is because the people that you choose to surround yourself with are going to have a tremendous impact and influence on who you are, on who you become, on how you feel, on how you live your life, the choices, decisions and actions that you take, and essentially where you end up in your life.

And it really is that influential, like the people in our life truly are that influential. We've heard over and over again that if you look at the three to five people that you spend the most time with, you can readily predict your financial future, your level of happiness in the future, your health and well being in the future.

Because influence matters. And one of the biggest mistakes that I see people make in regard to friendships is they have people in their space simply because they've been in their space. And so maybe I have a close friend and we've been friends for many, many years.

And so I hold that person and I keep that person in my space really, because they just, they've been there for a long time, I grew up with them something like this. And that isn't always the best decision, right? What I encourage you to do is ask yourself, man, when I spend time with this person, when I engage with them, do I feel uplifted?

Do I feel expanded? Do I feel like there was a value add that occurred? By way of going to that lunch or taking a trip with this person, or spending the afternoon with them, or going on a hike with them, or whatever it is you do with your friends, or if you're authentic with yourself and you really pay attention when you spend time with people, are you more negative and cynical?

Do you feel contracted? Do you feel like there was a depletion reality as a result of spending time with that individual? Or you feel tired and kind of fatigued, do you end up making, you know, less good choices for yourself when you're with your certain people as opposed to other people?

You make really great choices and decisions for yourself relative to your health and well being, the future you want to live, your finances, etc. And I encourage you to be decisive about the individuals that you really befriend. And for me, there's a big difference between a friend and an acquaintance.

A friend is somebody that we really invite into our space, so somebody we spend substantial time with, somebody that we are intimate with in a particular way, whereas we may have many, many, many acquaintances. Where we kind of like each other, we're cordial, but it's more of a surface level relationship, or there's not a lot of time spent there.

And so those who are your closest friends, I really encourage you to give yourself permission to assess that relationship, to analyze the relationship and really ask yourself, is this relationship moving me toward and supporting who I want to become, who I want to evolve into, that which I want to create in my life, or if I'm honest and authentic, it's really, you know, taking me away from that.

And in the case where you have some relationships in your life that are a value depletion, be willing to have a conversation with that person, get clear about your expectations, ask them to show up in the way in which is needed so that you both thrive and the relationship can exist at a higher level.

And if the individual is unwilling to do that work with you, then give yourself permission to not necessarily eradicate them from your life, but start to develop relationships with new people who are living life at a different level, who are able to show up with you in a different way in support to who you want to become, where you want to go, and the life you want to create.

And if you want more details or information or tactics on how to do this, please check out my book, Relationship Alchemy, where we can kind of walk you through the process of exactly how to do everything that we just spoke about.