SUMMARY

• “If you’re tiptoeing around your partner, the real connection you want stays out of reach.”
• “Stop taking their behavior personally—it’s likely more about them than it is about you.
• “Real change begins when you show up with clarity, confidence, and compassion—and speak the truth.”
• If you feel stuck in a pattern of silence, fear, or avoidance in your relationship, this episode is for you. Joey offers a
• practical path to reclaim your voice, express your needs, and open the door to transformation—for both of you.
• Watch the full video to learn how to shift from tension to true connection.

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 Full Transcript:

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Joey’s Performance Tune Up With Joey Klein. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Joey speaking unscripted and unedited. This video is captured in one take.]

It's likely that at times you feel like you're walking on eggshells, as people often say, with your significant other, with your partner, maybe friends in your life, etc. And, you know, you probably like to stop doing this, number one, because when we feel like we're walking on eggshells, we feel, you know, afraid or we feel insecure, we feel anxious.

And it's just not a great experience for ourself for you when you're, you know, you feel like you're kind of tiptoeing around somebody like this. But at the end of the day, it's not great for the relationship or the other person either, because whatever is in the space that needs to be resolved doesn't get resolved, and you're missing out on the relationship that really could be possible.

And so what we want to do is kind of manage this at two different levels initially. Number one is give yourself permission to not take personal anymore whatever behavior your significant other is exhibiting, even if they're getting upset, even if they're yelling at you, even if they're passive aggressive, or maybe they're just not in a good place and you own that for yourself.

And so step one is, man, I'm not going to take personal their behavior anymore. Their behavior doesn't have anything to do with me. It has to do with their own overwhelm, it has to do with their own anxiety, it has to do with their own disappointment or whatever they're managing in their own inner matrix and whatever patterns are happen to be unfolding for them.

And so then that gives you the ability to really own first and foremost, like, what's going on for you that has You feel like you need to walk on eggshells. Like, maybe we need to tune up the anxiety that we're feeling. Maybe you need to tune up that sense of loneliness or the fear or the unworthiness that's going on and show up as the version of yourself that's going to support the outcome of relationship that you want to create.

So when you think about the vision for relationship you aspire to, maybe it makes sense to be confident, maybe a person of compassion. Maybe you need to be joyful, perhaps engage the space from a place of centered peace and get clear on, like, who can I be in this relationship?

Even though this person is behaving the way they do. So that I hold space for the vision and for the outcome of relationship that I really aspire to. And I give myself permission to say the things and be authentic in the way that's important to create the relationship I want to create and be the person that I want to be and support the other person that I'm in relationship with.

And then once we kind of do that work with ourselves, now we can look at all right, what is it that that's getting in my way? What is the expectation in which I'm going to communicate about how I'd like for them to show up or what I want to have happen in the relationship? Maybe it's time to communicate the way in which the person has been making you feel by way of their behavior.

Maybe you can make a request for them to show up differently. Like the next step is, I need to communicate what's occurring for me despite their behavior. Give yourself permission to communicate what's occurring for you in the relationship despite how the person is behaving.

And also acknowledge, let the person know what behavior they're executing and how it makes you feel. Because if we don't tell the person, they may not even be aware that they're creating this kind of impact. And if you create the awareness that it's occurring, you at least create the space in the relationship where there's now awareness created and there's an opportunity for it to change.

But if we can't find the strength or the confidence or from a place of compassion for us, the other person in the relationship, if we can't find that place to go to the other person and communicate what's occurring for us and what is the dynamic that's happening in the relationship and how you'd like it to look instead then we actually never produce or create the opportunity for change to occur.

And so by having that sense of confidence in yourself and giving yourself permission not to walk on eggshells, but, you know, sort of face the other person and that which is happening directly. And do your best to come from a place again of compassion or joy or peace or acceptance or confidence, such that, you know, you can hold that space with the other person, then the relationship is not going to change.

If we don't do that, the same thing is going to keep going on. But the reality is the same thing never keeps going on. There's going to be a perpetual deterioration of the relationship. And ultimately it's going to get worse. And we're just going to deal with that for an indefinite period of time, or it's going to end at some point in time.

And so, you know, giving yourself permission to show up as a better version of yourself and then confront the space head on and communicate that which is occurring, that the impact that it's having, the way it could look instead, now it presents the opportunity for true transformation and evolution of the relationship to happen.

And so let's go ahead. Give yourself permission to take those steps and you'll find your way through it. It might create increased discomfort temporarily before we answer for the challenge that's going on, but the outcome and the result that you deserve to have, I promise, will be more than worth it.