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Emotion Rules :: Gratitude

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  • “Our greatest opportunity to train and know gratitude lies in focusing on the little things.”
  • Want to ensure you never feel gratitude? Focus on what you don’t have and what you desperately want.  
  • “Don’t wait until Day 2 of a flu to be grateful for your health.”
  • If you’re looking for tips on how to train gratitude so you feel it on demand, this episode is for you.
  • Watch the video to get the full training.





 Full Transcript:


[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Joey’s Performance Tune Up With Joey Klein. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Joey speaking unscripted and unedited. This video is captured in one take.]


So today we're going to talk about the rules that gratitude plays by. And what I mean by that is like, when we do certain things, we feel grateful. And when we do other things or we're not doing these key things, we don't feel so grateful. And usually we feel something else. So as an example of what not to do, if you're committed to feeling grateful is don't focus on what you don't have. So often when gratitude evades us and we can become a bit contracted, frustrated, sad, et cetera, is we're usually focused on what we don't have or what we want. And there's the absence of what we want. And when we get focused there, man, can that really torture us in some ways.


And so if you want to feel grateful, the rule is actually pretty simple, but not always easy to do, right? And so we want to train it. We want to practice this a little bit, which is do the opposite. Focus on the presence of things. When you are focused on and affirming what you have, gratitude is the byproduct of that. And gratitude leads to the experience of abundance. And the experience of abundance leads to the actualization of abundance, the realization of abundance, not just in terms of money and monetary abundance, although that definitely works, but we're talking abundance in terms of connections and relationships and people in our life and abundance of health and so on and so forth, right? There are like, laws to abundance, which we'll speak about in another session. But the foundation of abundance really is gratitude, because gratitude, we start to see everything that's available, everything we already have, all of the things that we already are experiencing in our life. 


And so what I find is so often when we're looking to affirm what we have, we're looking for the big things, right? Like, I want a million dollars, right? Or, oh my gosh, I won some big award. And those are moments that sometimes we remember to be grateful or we're anticipating, like a big event is needed in order to know gratitude. But what I find is if we focus on the little things that often go unnoticed, but when they're not there, we immediately miss them. Those are the greatest opportunities to train and know gratitude for ourself. 


So as an example, health is an example of that. Like, you wake up every day and go, man,I'm grateful I'm alive, and I'm grateful for the health and vitality in which I have. I'm grateful I can walk. I'm grateful I can breathe. I'm grateful. Just acknowledge all of the things as it pertains to your health that you have access to that day. And it's like, even when you get sick a little bit, all of a sudden, if you've ever had a really bad flu, day two in that flu, you're like, man, I just wish I felt good again. And it doesn't take very long to feel that way. We're talking just a day or two of not feeling well when for a lot of us, majority of our life, we feel amazing. But then day two, we're quickly reminded of how precious our health is and how important it is and how awesome it is that our body usually does exactly what it needs to do on our behalf.


And so instead of waiting until there's the absence of our health or the absence of feeling good, let's really acknowledge it and own it and appreciate it when it is present, right? Man I'm so grateful that I feel good today. I'm so grateful that I can breathe today. I'm so grateful that my immune system is doing its job. I'm grateful for the body that I have and how hard it works on my behalf. It's like a lot of us could name what our body's doing for us right now. And even if you're going through a health challenge, instead of focusing on the health you don't have, focus on what you do have. Man I have some time left. I can share this time with my friends and my family. I have opportunities to get better. I'm able to live life and here are the things I can do. Because when we're focused on what we can do and we're focused on what we have, we expand, we feel better, and we tend to realize there's actually a lot we can do. And that starts a trend, that starts to lead to more things that we can do, more possibilities. 


You know, it's like when I took a trip to India years ago, and I traveled to a variety of third world countries, and one of the things Iimmediately noticed that I miss is stuff like clean water or a warm shower or a shower, period. A lot of times, places I went didn't have any shower, right? And so when I came home, I can't tell you, after being months in a third world country or months in the wilderness, right, where I didn't have access to warm water and I didn't have access to clean drinking water, right? It wasn't easy to get clean drinking water, and I didn't have access to clean water, and I didn't have access to all these things, right? Air conditioning. And then I came home, and I was like, I think I took a two hour shower. It was like, oh, my gosh, a shower is the best thing on the planet.


Prior to that, I took a shower every day, and I found it annoying because I was like, my shower wastes a good seven minutes of my day, three minutes if I'm in a hurry. If I didn't have to shower, I'd have so much more time. Why do I have to brush my teeth, right? And it's like, these things can be an annoyance if we let them be. But, man, if we stop and we go, wait a minute. How awesome is it that I can just go and turn on my shower and I have warm, clean water and I get to bathe it every day? And then I have technology available to me and resources to take care of my health and do little things that are so easy, like hygiene. So much of the world doesn't have hygiene. So much of the world, their teeth are falling out. They don't have access to dental care and eye care and medical care. And it's like we don't notice it sometimes because we've just always had it, and then we normalize it. 


We become accustomed to this stuff and so focus on the little things. Man, I'm so grateful for the shower. I'm so grateful that I get to have this meal and, like, quality food in my belly. And I'm so grateful that I'm putting warm clothes on and that I have good quality shoes to wear and oh, my gosh, I'm getting in my car to drive around, right? It's like, man, I have a car. And I'm so grateful I get to take an airplane ride today. Like, imagine back till you never flew before and you were going to take your first plane ride. Were you in security, like, I hate my life and this is terrible, or were you like, oh, my God, I'm about to get on an airplane and fly through the air in a can? It blew your mind the first few times, and your face was glued to the window, and you're looking at all of the things from above the world for the first time, and you were in awe. You were inspired. You were expanded because you were grateful, right?


And so gratitude is often missed in the little opportunities that are available to us every day. Man, I'm so grateful that I have this person in my life. I'm so grateful that they love and care for me. I'm so grateful I have somebody to love. I'm so grateful for my shower .I'm so grateful for water. I'm so grateful for food. I'm grateful for the clothes on my back. I'm so grateful I'm going to wake up and probably be mostly healthy tomorrow. I'm so grateful for my safety. I'm so grateful. It's like you can just go on and on and on and so take a little time each day. Start your day five minutes and then end your day five minutes and focus on the things you have and get excited about and tie meaning to the little things, the things that we often just sort of take for granted we normalize. Because those tend to be the greatest opportunities to realize the abundance that we really have and that we're living every single day. And if you focus on that, you acknowledge that you're going to feel abundant, it you're going to feel grateful, and that gratitude is going to expand you. That sense of abundance is going to support you to realize all the things that you have, but more importantly, all the things that are probably on their way. And that is such a better place to live life from. So enjoy your gratitude.