SUMMARY

• “When we feel love for ourself, when we feel love for people that we care about, we feel a general sense of love for the creation or the world, the mind's doing some key things.”
• One way to describe the idea of universal love is when we have an essential understanding that we are more like every other human being than we are unlike them.
• “Ask yourself, what way can I orient to myself that gives me access to love and sharing love with others?”
• If you’re looking for tips on how to understand and cultivate love, this episode is for you.
• Watch the video to get the full training.

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 Full Transcript:

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Joey’s Performance Tune Up With Joey Klein. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Joey speaking unscripted and unedited. This video is captured in one take.]

In this session, we're going to talk about training love. And essentially, what does the mind do when it's fueling love, right. When we feel love for ourself, when we feel love for people that we care about, we feel a general sense of love for the creation or the world, the mind's doing some key things that it's not up to when we feel hatred or we don't feel love, right? We feel something else. And first, I want to make a distinction and define love a little bit, because there's a lot of different kinds of love or types of love. And in this session, we're going to talk about training the sense of deep love, unconditional love, that love that can always be present with you, with somebody else, no matter what. Not necessarily romantic love. And let me make the distinction, right. Romantic love is often linked to, you know, a chemical reality. 


And so when we first meet somebody, like, there's just a whole science to that where, you know, basically we've got all the pleasure centers in the brain firing. And studies have actually linked the brain functioning very similar to cocaine addicts when we are, quote unquote, in love, or when we fall in love, as people say. And so that's a biochemical, you know, reaction, you know, trying to propagate our species, right? Creating attraction so that we essentially reproduce and we survive as a species. That's a very strong biological reality that has been going on for thousands of years, and it's going to keep going on for thousands of years. And so the key is that that's not a bad thing. We've just got to understand that that's an experience that we're inside of, but it's not necessarily going to last, because if you've ever been in a long term relationship, those chemicals, after six months or a year, year and a half, you know, those things die out, those things dissolve, and then you have the relationship. Right. And if there is a compatibility and if we're doing some key things, we can actually continue to foster love and continue to have amazing relationships, not just with our romantic partners, but everybody who's in our life. 


And there are some key things that we tend to remember or themes that play out in the mind when we're fostering a sense of love and experience of love for ourself and with the people that we care about. A couple themes that are showing up in the mind when love is present in a really powerful way is the idea of oneness and the idea of relatability. And so what that means is when we look at other people, we have an essential understanding that we are more like every other human being than we are, dislike them like. We all have a brain, we all have a nervous system, we all have similar emotions to each other, we all manage certain desires, we all experience hardship and overcoming of those hardships in our own ways, and on and on and on. And so the more the theme in the mind is the ways in which we are alike, the commonalities that we share, the more love we're going to feel. And the individuals who know the most love are the ones who focus on the ways in which we are like each other as opposed to dislike each other. And individuals who look at the things that are different between the people in which they know or people in which they like. The more conflict they experience, the more anger, the more agitation, the more turmoil they tend to experience. 


And so it's fine to have differences of opinion, but the individuals who can have, as an example, a difference of opinion and still have love for the person who has a difference of opinion from them, they understand that we're all trying our best, as an example. And the key word there is we are all trying our best. And so if I'm in a theme of we're all trying our best, and I inherently am willing to hold on to the concept or the perception or the belief that we're all trying our best, somebody could maybe be not as informed as me, somebody could be not as intelligent as me, somebody could be not as capable. And there can be an understanding there which still allows me to have love for somebody, even though they may be behaving in a way that isn't great or that is out of alignment or maybe even is destructive to them and other people, because at some point in time, you were less capable, you were destructive. I mean, we were all a teenager once, right? I mean, none of us had it together when we were 16 or 18 years old. You know, we didn't know yet. We weren't informed in the way that we hopefully become more informed in our thirties, in our forties and our fifties, hopefully, right?  And so the more we look at people in that commonality, right, that we are similar to each other, this sense of oneness and the ways in which we are on the same journey together, the more love we're going to feel for ourself and for other people. 


And the second thing that people do as a theme where they feel, you know, a lot of love a majority of the time, is they orient around themselves, not others. They orient around themselves, not others. So as an example, if I get really strong within myself, you could treat me in any way that you could choose. You could betray me, you could be disrespectful toward me. And that just may be where you are in your journey, where you are with your capacity. If I take that personal, I'm going to feel hurt, and then that hurt is going to turn into anger, that hurt is going to turn into resentment, that hurt is going to turn to animosity or shame or guilt within myself. But if I can orient to myself and I can go, man, this person, they don't understand the impact they're having. Or, hey, they're really hurt right now and they're lashing out, and that doesn't have to do with me. They're not saying these things toward me, or they didn't betray me with an intention of hurting me. They did these things because that's where they're at. And I choose to accept them. I choose to have compassion for them. I choose to hold love for them. I may set boundaries. I may not continue certain relationships with them, or I may disengage because they treated me in an abusive or unacceptable way. Or maybe they did betray, and I explained that to them, and they're not willing to change their ways or adhere to certain boundaries. Like, I might go my way or do other things, but I don't have to hold on to that hurt, so to speak, as though their bad behavior or inability means something about me. 


As opposed to that I can, you know, create an orientation around myself and I can go, well, what is the character I want to hold? What is the human being I want to be? What do I want to feel? What do I want to feel for people? Like, like, how do I get to the end of my day each day and feel great about who I'm looking at in the mirror? Like, at the end of the day, that's far more important to me than righting every wrong that I think somebody sort of, you know, does toward me or sort of holding on to every little disrespect or mistake somebody makes in my direction. Instead, we can orient to ourself and we can go, hey, I'm going to strive to be a person of character today. I'm going to strive to be a person of high morality today. I'm going to be a person of kindness today. And if we orient around, like, hey, was I kind to that person? Did I show that person love? Was I accepting to that individual regardless of what they are doing, that's going to develop and train a high capacity for experiencing and knowing love within yourself. And so just think of those two things, like, hey, where can I focus on the likeness that I share with all other human beings? And where can I orient to myself? In what way can I orient to myself? In a way that gives me access to love and sharing love. And the better you get at that, the more free you're going to become, because then you're not a pinball in the machine of life, reacting in a negative or fear based way to all of the things that are going to come at you in any given day. 


And I understand that what I'm saying right now doesn't necessarily seem easy, but no new skill is easy when we first started. And so if you want to develop the skill to wake up to and know love and experience love and share that with all of the people in your life, we train these themes. In which way am I like people? In which way am I one with people? Where are commonalities? And then, number two, orient to yourself in the highest ways. And don't take the things that other people do toward you or around you so personal and have that define your space, as opposed to other people defining your space. You define your own space, and you're gonna know a lot more love in your life and attract a lot more people to you who are going to show up with you in that common exchange of love, and it'll be a very different life than many people know.