SUMMARY

Do you struggle with setting boundaries because you’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings… or damaging the relationship? In this Performance Tune Up episode, Joey Klein breaks down how to set healthy, empowering boundaries that protect your energy while strengthening your relationships — not pushing people away.

• “Boundaries aren’t about controlling someone else — they’re about choosing how you will respond.”
• “Healthy boundaries actually strengthen relationships — they create safety, not distance.”
• “Boundaries aren’t walls — they’re gates with clear instructions for entry.”
• If you want to protect your energy, reduce resentment, and strengthen your relationships without guilt, this episode gives you a simple, powerful roadmap you can start using today.
• Watch the full training for the complete experience.

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 Full Transcript:

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Joey’s Performance Tune Up With Joey Klein. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Joey speaking unscripted and unedited. This video is captured in one take.]

Do you struggle with setting boundaries because you're afraid of hurting someone's feelings or damaging the relationship? Maybe you say yes when you want to say no. Or let people cross lines you're not comfortable with? Or find yourself resentful because you're always giving more than you're receiving?

Do you want to protect your peace and energy, but you don't want to be seen as selfish or difficult? Sound familiar? There is a way to set boundaries that support you to feel empowered and aligned without alienating you from the people that you care about, care about most.

Hi, I'm Joey Klein, founder and CEO of InterMatrix Systems. I'm also the author of the book Relationship Alchemy. I train high achievers in the art and science of personal mastery, and to date, over 84,000 people have gone through my trainings. Listen, there is a big misconception about boundaries.

People think boundaries are about controlling other people's behavior to protect yourself. But boundaries aren't about the other person at all. They're about you. A, boundary is a decision about how you will respond in a way that promotes alignment, not disconnect when certain behaviors show up.

And here's the truth that might surprise you. Healthy boundaries actually strengthen relationships because they create clarity and safety for everyone involved. To help you to understand how boundaries work, I want to tell you about my client Sarah. Sarah is a marketing director who was burned out because she couldn't say no to additional projects her boss asked her to take on.

Not only did her boss keep piling work on her, but her colleagues also constantly interrupted her making it difficult to fulfill her commitments. She was working 60 hour weeks while feeling guilty about setting any limits. To support Sarah, I taught her the boundary blueprint and it's simple enough that you can implement it too.

First you must clarify your non negotiables which we call expectations. Sarah had to get clear on what she absolutely needed in order to do her job well. For her, her evening and weekend time with family was most important so she had time away from work to recharge and gain perspective.

She also wanted to be able to take a brain break during her lunch breaks at work. As she was outlining her expectations. She realized she didn't mind taking on extra work as long as she had several hours during the day where she was not interrupted to do it.

She wouldn't have been able to even think about setting a boundary without understanding what she absolutely needed in the form of her expectations. Next, you must communicate the boundary, not the consequence. In an effort to complete her work task, Sarah used to unintentionally threaten her colleagues when they would interrupt her.

She would say, if you keep interrupting me, I'm going to stop helping you. Instead, she trained her colleagues in the ways in which they could access her help. She communicated I'm available for questions between 2 and 3pm each day.

Outside of that time, I'll need you to send me an email so I can stay focused. Then you must lead with the positive impact that the boundary creates. Sarah learned to say, I'm, protecting my focus time. So I can give you my best work when we do connect, instead of stop bothering me all the time.

Next, you must hold the boundary with compassion. Just because you set and communicate a boundary doesn't mean that people are going to always follow it. But when someone pushed against Sarah's boundary, instead of getting defensive, Sarah would align with a sense of compassion and say, I understand this feels urgent to you.

I'll be able to address it during my available hours tomorrow. Finally, don't justify. Explain once, then hold firm. Sarah stopped over explaining her boundaries. She'd state it once clearly, then follow through with consistency.

Listen, the amazing thing was that people started respecting Sarah more, not less, as, she was able to compassionately hold her boundary. Her boss told her she seemed more professional and organized. Her colleagues stopped treating her like she was always available.

Here's what Sarah discovered. When you don't have clear expectations, you're not able to set boundaries that make sense. People have to guess what's okay and what's not. This creates anxiety for them, too. Clear boundaries actually make relationships easier for everyone.

Look, the secret is that boundaries aren't walls. They're gates with clear instructions for entry. If you're struggling to set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty or damaging your relationships, get your free copy of Relationship Alchemy at relationshipalchemybook.com and just pay the small shipping fee.

You'll learn exactly how to protect your energy and create respect while maintaining loving connections