SUMMARY

• “If we look at what the brain is doing neurologically when we're frustrated, the brain is shut down. We don’t have access to critical or creative thinking.”
• Frustration should inform us that we’re not in a place of great decision making. Rather than letting frustration inform us as to what we should do, we should use it to inform where we are within ourselves.
• “Frustration will always obsess over how things aren’t the way we want them to be.”
• If you’re looking for tips on how to navigate and overcome frustration, this episode is for you.
• Watch the video to get the full training.

GET DAILY INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ON FACEBOOK OR INSTAGRAM

 Full Transcript:

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Joey’s Performance Tune Up With Joey Klein. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Joey speaking unscripted and unedited. This video is captured in one take.]

So in this session, we're going to talk a little about frustration. And as we, you know, speak, all emotions play by certain rules. And so when we feel a certain way, we do very specific things. The mind thinks in a certain way. And there's a general theme in the mind when, when frustration is present, which is basically what we're dissatisfied with. And we really just obsess about what we're dissatisfied with. And essentially we are focusing on the way that it's not in sort of relativeness to the way we want it to be. So instead of focusing on the way we want it to be and maybe how do we achieve that outcome, we tend to focus and really obsess on how the thing in front of us or our life or whatever it is, isn't how we want it to be. 

And so it can literally do with anything in our life. I want more money, therefore I'm frustrated that I don't have more money or my significant other isn't doing ten different things today that I would like them to do. And therefore I'm frustrated or I don't look the way I want to look anymore. And you're looking in the mirror and therefore frustration's there, or you're driving and noticing any number of things that is going on that you'd rather not have go on. A traffic jam, a car accident, people driving too slow in the fast lane. You know, it can just be endless. I'm frustrated because it's raining and I wanted it to be sunny today. 

And so if you notice, like, whenever frustration's present, we're focused on how we're dissatisfied in the moment and how things are not the way we want them to be and we really focus on the way that it's not what we want. And then we just kind of, you know, keep, keep focusing on that and eventually we make decisions from that. And so if we focus on that frustration long enough and how it's not what we want it to be, then we tend to go into a behavior of trying to change what's occurring as opposed to altering ourselves first. And so what that can look like is, man, I don't like the weather because it always rains, so I'm going to move cities. Like, I literally had somebody share with me recently that they didn't like the weather where they lived, so they were moving. And I was like, are you sure that that's going to solve the frustration for you and the depression you're inside of? Because I don't know that the weather is actually causing that. Right. 

And so sometimes we move from one place to another. We quit jobs, we leave relationships, we end friendships. And, I mean, we could just go on and on, right? And it's like, wait a minute. Well, what's really motivating these actions? Because it is very different to motivate your action and your behavior relative to what you want in your life, what you want to aspire to, what you want to achieve, as opposed to what you want to get away from, essentially,  or what it is that you're looking to basically stop because you don't like it. And when we are motivated by what we want to have stop in our life or what we're looking to get away from, it's interesting because we tend to  inadvertently create more of that in our life by way of so much of our focus and attention goes to it. 

And if we look at just the science behind frustration, like, what is the brain doing neurologically when we're frustrated, the brain shuts  down. Right? Critical thinking, creative thinking, we don't have access to it. And so for me, instead of letting emotions inform action, oh, I'm frustrated, therefore this is what I should do, I'm frustrated, therefore I should tailgate. I'm frustrated, therefore we should break up. I'm frustrated, therefore I should quit my job. I'm frustrated, so I'm going to go into silent treatment and hide in the basement until basically somebody finds me. And then we get frustrated because nobody comes and finds us, and they just left us down there by ourself. And then, you know, you're just, that's where you live from. 

And so it's like we can, instead of letting frustration inform what we should do, emotions, I find, are way better at informing where we are at. And so if we notice that we're frustrated, it's much better to go, oh, I'm frustrated in this moment, and acknowledge  that we're not in a place to make great decisions relative to what we want to create in our life. When we feel frustrated, we're just simply not in a place to make great decisions relative to what we want to create in our life. And so frustration is just a sign, not that something's wrong, which is what our perception is telling us, but rather frustration is just saying, hey, pay attention to  where you're at, because you're most likely about to take  action in a way that's gonna diminish the quality of your life, either short term or if we were to perpetuate that action long term, it's gonna really define our  conditions of life in a pretty holistic way. 

And so when frustration's there, it's like, oh, I'm frustrated. Right now I'm not in a place to make great choices and decisions. I need to learn to center myself and redirect and get connected to the outcome that I'm looking to create and then make sure to assess my intended action or my choice I'm about to make, or the decision that I'm going to make and see if it's actually moving me toward what I want, or if this is me just attempting to manage what I'm dissatisfied with in the moment and get that to go away. And most likely, I don't have a great idea about how to go about that by way of, I'm frustrated. So, hopefully this is helpful, and we will see you in a future session.