- “You can have it all; it’s possible. But if you think that having a thing, an outcome, or a fancy widget is the thing that brings fulfillment, then you’re setting yourself up. The fulfillment comes from how you bring yourself to these things. Have it all. But bring your best self to it so that you thrive.”
- “Having” is part of life. We all have things. But checking in on the fulfillment factor before acquiring a thing can ensure it hits the mark. Three months from now, six months from now - is this something that’s going to provide a high level of fulfillment? Or is it something that just gives me a quick hit and then is gone?
- “We bring our inner expression into the things that we do. We bring our state of being to our experiences. A thing does not bring happiness. But you can absolutely bring happiness to any “thing.”
- If you’re looking for tips on how to have every “thing” you desire, while also being fulfilled, then this session is for you.
- Watch the video for the whole training.
[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Joey’s Performance Tune Up With Joey Klein. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Joey speaking unscripted and unedited. This video is captured in one take.]
Welcome to our session around vision, where we talk about the things we have, right? This can be so fun or so not fun, depending on how we manage this space in our life and this aspect of creation.
And so, as we've talked about in previous sessions, and if you missed those sessions, go back, check them out. We talked about being there being four aspects to vision and vision creation. The foundation of a vision is always emotion because the emotions that we experience define the quality of our life, plain and simple. And then, hey, what's going on in the mind? What are the quality of my thoughts? Because our thoughts and emotions as they interact together, tend to define our inner expression of life and who we are with life, or who we bring ourself as to the life that we're living. And that is more important for fulfillment than anything else. And then the third aspect of vision are the things that we're doing right, the experiences that we're having, the actions that we're taking in life, like, what are we up to with our days, with our weeks, with our months? What activities are we doing? What are the experiences we are bringing ourselves to in life?
And then that brings us to the third and final component of vision, which are the things that we have. Most people, they attempt to create from the outside in and they tend to go to having first, right? They'll create a vision board and they'll go, my God, I'm going to have ten sports cars and I'm going to have a giant house, or three of them. And today, it's like everybody thinks they're supposed to have a private island for some reason, which is interesting. I'm going to have a plane or I'm going to have a bunch of land, or we name all these things that we're thinking to buy and own, right? Which there's nothing wrong with having any and all of those things like go for it, have all of it, but make sure you're not thinking that, man, if I acquire this stuff, that it's going to translate to a sense of fulfillment and happiness for myself, because it just doesn't work that way. If you're happy and you're fulfilled before you buy any of those things or before you acquire any of that stuff, you're going to be happy and fulfilled. If you're overwhelmed and anxious and frustrated with life and you buy and you have all that stuff, you're just going to be frustrated and have stuff, right? You're just going to be anxious and have stuff.
And I've worked with people from all walks of life, so I can say, like, I've worked with people who are at the poverty level and I've worked with a lot of people who are in the most affluent, top one of 1% of wealth, billionaires, things of that nature. And I can tell you the having the things of life does not translate to increasing happiness in any way after your base needs are met. Base needs being truly food, shelter, water, and relationships. Like, if you got access to healthy food and you got access to water and you got access to shelter and you have people in your life and you're not happy and you're not fulfilled, acquiring stuff isn't going to produce that inner wellness, that inner happiness, that inner fulfillment.
And so how does that space of having live for us? It's like, hey, we need to bring ourself to the things we're doing and then let's look at what we're going to own. And I have a little formula for that category of the things that we own or the things that we have, our possessions, our things and stuff, as I say. And so the things we have, it's like, I have a question that I'll often ask myself before I make a purchase. And today I feel very grateful. And I've created a life where I have the resources, where I could buy just about anything I want, okay? But even now, a practice that I started, but I do this even now, but I started it when I had very little money. Like when I was living in a one bedroom condo. And there were months where it was like, I'm $200 short on rent, I'm not sure where it's going to come from. And then I got to where I was able to cover my expenses on a regular and predictable basis and I started having additional money. I would ask myself the question, what fulfillment factor does this have? Right? So I would start to measure my purchases or the things that I would acquire or the things I would have based on what fulfillment factor does this have? And what I mean by fulfillment factor is, in three months from now or six months from now, is this something that's going to continue to provide a high level of fulfillment? Or is this something that's a fun purchase now? But my fulfillment factor with this thing is going to consistently decrease over time.
And so what I mean by that is it's like, I love to mountain bike. It's something I enjoy doing. It's an activity that I really love. I love being in nature. I love doing something active. It's like you get this great workout on the way up and it's challenging. And then on the way down, it's like you get a reward. It's like an amusement park, right? Like it's the best hour spent, right? Or I'll go out for 2 hours and it's a super fun time. And so it's like, to do that, I need a bike. And so in my mind, it's like, man, if I put some money together and I go purchase a mountain bike that I can use three days a week, and I can do it and I can use that bike for years and years and years. That's a high level of a fulfillment factor for me because this bike is giving me access to something I'm doing on a regular and consistent basis. And I'm having a blast. And so that purchase is adding to the quality of my life. Okay?
And there are a lot of different types of mountain bikes. Like you can buy a $1,000 mountain bike, you could buy a $12,000 mountain bike. And it's interesting because if you can afford a really expensive mountain bike, that's totally fine. But it's not like your fulfillment factor increases because you're on a more expensive bike, right? Your fulfillment factor doesn't go up because you're still doing the thing that you love. If you can afford the more expensive mountain bike, great, go for it. Have a blast, enjoy it. That's awesome. But at the same point, if purchasing that expensive mountain bike means it's going to take away from other things that provide you a level of fulfillment, like, let's say you love going out to dinner and you love going out to dinners with friends. And that's something that you have, that's something you're able to do with your money is go out to dinners and nice restaurants and be with your friends. And the purchase of a more expensive mountain bike takes away from your ability to go out with your friends and eat those dinners. It's probably better to have a less expensive bike, continue that activity and do this other thing you love, which is go out with friends.
And so start asking the question whenever you're going to make a purchase, what will the fulfillment factor of this be in six months? Right? It's like you go to purchase a new car and you're at the dealership and you're making your comparisons, and all of a sudden you want this car that's $30,000 more that wasn't even in your mind before you went to said dealership. And then you start negotiating with yourself, well, I was thinking about a $200 or $300 payment. Maybe I could pull off a $600 or $700 dollar car payment or something like this. And so many people I know, I watch them, it's like they buy a car that they feel excited about for a few weeks. But the fulfillment factor of actually owning that car is a diminishing return over time. And so they spent a lot of money on having something that actually didn't have a high fulfillment factor. If we really stop and extrapolate it out six months and the cost of having that car is taking away from the vacation or the trip or other things that they could be doing that would have a higher fulfillment factor for them, right? They bought a car and they paid that car payment for years instead of being able to add to the quality of their child's life and maybe take care of their college if that's important to them. And so it's like whatever it is for you, start connecting the fulfillment factor to the things that you have. And if you do nothing more than ask this question, you'll make sure that you're owning the stuff that you have. And the stuff you have doesn't start owning you.
Because the average person today, they're stressed, they're overwhelmed, they're anxious because they're over leveraged, right? They're spending more money than they make. They're taking on debt to have things that actually don't increase their fulfillment factor, right? Especially not shortly after the purchase. And so then that stuff starts to own us because it becomes our liability. It becomes this thing we have to manage, right? So many people, it's like, they buy a house and I totally get you need to have shelter, but it's like, man, if we buy a house that the cost of that house is fun, and it's exciting for a minute because we love having the new home, but we went so far that it became a stretch for us, and now all of a sudden, we're not skiing, if that's something we love to do. It's like, if that house costs you your ski pass and it costs you ten trips a year to go skiing, was the house worth it? Because that house that you purchased six months later, if you were in a house that cost a little less money, wasn't quite as luxurious or wasn't quite as big, you would be just as fulfilled in it most of the time. But then you would still have access to four really cool vacations a year or ten ski trips a year, or you'd be able to go to New York and see the symphony, or you'd be able to go to the shows that you love doing, or things of this nature, right?
It's like, so often the things that we have start owning us instead of us owning them. And one of the best ways and a very easy way to start making sure that you actually own the things you have is ask yourself that question, hey, if I buy this thing, what's the fulfillment factor going to be six months from now? And if you do your budget, ask the same question as you're doing your budget when you're looking at, man, I'm going to put this much money toward my housing costs, or I'm going to put this much money toward eating out, or I'm going to put this much money toward my self development and developing myself. It's like something I would always ask is, hey, what's the fulfillment factor of this? This might be fun for a moment, and it's kind of a nice indulgence, but if I'm not doing it, do I really miss it? If the answer is no, let's allocate those resources toward things that are going to increase your fulfillment factor. And always, always remember, guys, creating from the outside in is never going to create fulfillment. Nothing you ever own, whether it's a beautiful house, or a brand new sports car, or new shoes or a closet full of new shoes or like, whatever your things are, the things that you have are never going to bring you happiness. And we all know that intellectually, but it doesn't mean that we're living that in practical application.
We bring our inner expression into the things that we do. We bring our state of being to our experiences, right? Some of you, as I'm talking about mountain biking, you're like, I couldn't think of anything worse, right? Like, overwhelm, fear, panic, anxiety shows up inside of you. And so if overwhelm, fear, panic, and anxiety is what you're experiencing while you're mountain biking, that's not going to be so fun. And so we need to learn to go, wait, I'm going to access joy, I'm going to access inspiration or confidence, empowerment, and then I'm going to go mountain biking. And now that's a whole different experience doing the exact same activity, okay? Same thing, if I feel fulfilled and I'm grateful and I feel inspired and I purchase a new home and I live in my house, well, then I'm going to know inspiration and fulfillment with that house, right? That's the thing I'm going to bring to it. If I buy a new mountain bike, if I buy a pair of skis, if I buy a new outfit, if I buy new shoes and I'm in a space as who I am of gratitude and inspiration and fulfillment, well, then I'm going to bring that experience of myself, that expression of myself, to the new shoes and to the outfit. Or some people like to buy private jets now. It's like, great own your jet. But if you're anxious and overwhelmed as a way of being, if you're frustrated as a way of being, well, then no matter what you purchase, you're just going to bring that same sense of anger and frustration and overwhelm to the things that you have. That hasn't changed the actual quality of your inner expression and your experience of life.
And so have all the things, right? It's like, I always think of three categories in many of the trainings that I do with people, where it's like, hey, what are the necessities? And then, what's most important to you? And then what can you take or leave? And that will help you with that conversation of, hey, what brings me the highest level of fulfillment? What purchases are going to have the highest fulfillment factor, not just today, but over time and depending on your resources, you might have a lot of the take it or leave it list, and you might have none of it, but it won't matter for living a life that you love, right? Like, this is how you really understand, regardless of your financial wealth, whether you make 50 grand a year or 30 grand a year or you make a million dollars a year, if we're living from the inside out, you're going to know fulfillment.
If you're living through a fulfillment equation and not a keep-up-with-the-Joneses equation, right? Not an impulse equation. I want this. I have to have it. Right now. You're going to know a higher quality of life and it gives you the ability to truly design the life that you're going to most appreciate and the life that you're going to most love living. Creating a life better than you could possibly imagine year after year after year should be the goal, should be the aspiration.
And so I hope that this helps. I hope that thinking about vision a little bit differently, constructing your life a little differently than I think is usual is helpful for you. And please keep up your training. So happy that you're here with me right now. Enjoy the rest of your day and truly, truly keep moving toward living a life that you love.