SUMMARY

• “A mistake people make when trying to change the emotional experience of their life is thinking that a change in circumstance is going to change their inner experience or their sense of well being tied to life.”
• Stop thinking that thoughts are true simply because you think them. We must stop investing in the mind as though it’s real and true, and stop believing the stories being told by the mind. Especially when those thoughts aren’t creating the life and outcomes we want.
• “Joy is the byproduct of focusing on the now, on what's happening in the moment, and on that which is good, that which is going well.”
• If you’re looking for tips on how to understand and cultivate joy, this episode is for you.
• Watch the video to get the full training.

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 Full Transcript:

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Joey’s Performance Tune Up With Joey Klein. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Joey speaking unscripted and unedited. This video is captured in one take.]

Welcome to our session on Joy. And so what we're going to do is we're going to break down in this session, hey, what's the mind doing when joy is present? And, you know, what is the mind not doing essentially when joy isn't present? And the reason it's so important to understand this is a lot of times what people think is they go, you know what? If I'm feeling joy, it's because certain things are going well in my life. It's because life is the way it's supposed to be. It's because everything is okay. And that's why most people don't experience joy. Matter of fact, if you were to do a poll, which we've done, we've actually given surveys out to close to 1000 people and like, what do they experience? What do they feel? What's kind of the main theme in their life? I've been working with people now over two decades, and it's very odd, but joy is actually an exception in most people's life. It's not the norm. 

Meaning the majority of what people experience day in and day out are things like anxiety and stress and worry and panic and overwhelm and fear. And we can go on and on with these sort of fear based, uncomfortable, painful emotions that most people sort of live day in and day out with and are to find a way beyond those into a better experience of life. And the biggest mistake I see people make when trying to change the emotional experience of their life, thinking that a change in circumstance is going to change their inner experience or their sense of well being tied to life. And they try time and time again and it just simply falls short. And it's because we have a bad assumption going on from the start, from the get go, from the beginning. And that assumption is, hey, if I'm not joyful, it means there's something wrong with my life. And we're allowing whatever emotion we happen to be experiencing to dictate the quality of our life or to assess if things are okay or if they're not okay. Playing by completely different rules is we go, hey, the emotion I'm feeling, I'm feeling because it got conditioned. 

We've talked about this in previous sessions, and the thoughts that the mind is thinking is inherently not who I am. Stop identifying with the thoughts and rather than identify with the thought, start evaluating the thought. And so this is how we change the game. We stopped identifying with the thought, assuming that just because they're occurring in the mind, just because thoughts are, you know, there's these different themes of thinking, being thought by the mind, that it must be inherently true. We got to stop investing in the mind as though it's real and true, stop believing the stories told by the mind.  And we got to start to, again, measure. We got to start to evaluate the mind and really assess, should this be what the mind is thinking? And as opposed to just allowing the mind to do its thing, we got to start to evaluate, is this the most constructive thing for my mind to be doing, for the mind to be doing relative to the experience I want to have and the outcomes I want to create?

And so if we look at what do joyful people think, what does the mind of joyful people think? Meaning somebody who is not in that painful experience of life a majority of the time, but a majority of their life, they're experiencing joy 90% of the time. Like, most of the time, they're in a joyful place, right. Life just doesn't seem to be getting to them. What are they doing different than everybody else? And it has to do with the quality of the thoughts. And so if we look at joy as an experience, joy as an emotion, it's going to drive the mind to think certain things. And so if you pay attention to times when you felt joyful in your life, there are a few key things that the mind is doing. Number one, the mind is typically focused on what's happening right here and now. The mind is focused on what's presently occurring. It's usually not focused on the past, and it's not focused on the future. And if it is focused on the past or the future, if it's, if the mind is focused on the past, it's focusing on the perception of things that were good that  Right. The good things that happened, the things that were enjoyable, the things that we appreciated. Right. The quote, unquote good times from the past. 

And if the mind is focused on the future and we experience joy, it's usually focused on the anticipation of the good things that are to come, the good things that will happen. And so if the mind does go to the past or the future, it's focused on the perception of good things that have occurred or the good things that are on their way. But mostly, the mind is focused on what's going on right here in the moment of their life, present time. And as they focus on the things that are going on in their life, it's, again, focused on the perception of the good things that are happening, the things that they perceive are going well. And it's usually not big, huge gestures, like, I won a million dollars or I lost a bazillion pounds or something like this. It's like, oh, when I'm focused on the present moment, it's like, man, I'm happy I'm alive, or I'm lucky to have these people in my life that love and care about me, or they get sort of excited about the small things, right? It's like, oh, my gosh, I get to go to work today and make a contribution. I get to, you know, be with my kids later on this evening. I get to go ski today. I get to enjoy nature. Wow, look at this beautiful view outside of my house You know what? I've got the health that I need to kind of get through my day, or, man, I really appreciate that I have this car that takes me everywhere I need to go, and it's just mechanically sound. I don't have to think about it breaking down. 

It's like joy is the byproduct of focusing on the now, on what's happening in the moment, and on that which is good, that which is going well. And so if we understand that individuals who feel joyful a prominent amount of time or that is the majority of the experience of their life, they're really doing these key things. They're focusing on what's happening right here now in their life, kind of short term, like, literally today, right, the day we're living right now, and they focus on what's going well. Hey, what's going well is. What's going well is, what's going well is, what has gone well in the past is what will go well in the future is. And there's this, this theme in the mind of essentially what's going well. 

And so if we want to train joy, we've got to train the mind to focus on and affirm that which is going well. And you'll notice that if you feel a lot of joy in your life, you're focused on what's going well. If you don't experience any joy in your life, then the mind is not focused on what's going well. And so we've got to teach the mind. We've got to train the mind to start focusing on what's going well. And so today, why don't you start right now? And even though it may seem like there's nothing going well, start to affirm the things that are going well, the things that you appreciate. And I bet what will start to surface for you is a bit more access to joy.