SUMMARY

• “Disgust shows us when we’re focused on imperfections.”
• If we relate to a fantasy of how things should be, we never get to create and realize what we could really become.
• “Make sure that what you aspire to is healthy and is actually possible to become.”
• If you’re looking for tips on how to manage and go beyond disgust, this episode is for you.
• Watch the video to get the full training.

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 Full Transcript:

[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Joey’s Performance Tune Up With Joey Klein. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Joey speaking unscripted and unedited. This video is captured in one take.]

So in this session, we're going to break down disgust. So many people can get caught in feelings of disgust, feeling disgust in themselves, disgusted in others, disgusted about the world and man, is it not a great experience of life to be inside of. And so if we understand what drives disgust, we can catch it and hopefully redirect. And so if we look at, well, what does disgust drive? It's an obsession on imperfection, right. We tend to be focused on, in an obsessive way, on the imperfections, the imperfections of ourself, of other people. And then we relate to that in the judgment sense of how it should be. And so we're obsessing about imperfection while comparing to the way that it's not. And so the two themes are the way it's not, and a focusing on the imperfection in a pretty obsessive way. And so we can do that in regard to any space in life, right. 

When we look at our body, we can pick apart all of the different things that don't look the way it should. We can focus on the imperfections of the wrinkles and being a little heavy, and we're aging, and our hair's changing color, and we got shorter, and, I mean, we just go on and on and on. My posture is not as good as it could be. And if you get obsessed about focusing on the idea of imperfections, and the key word here is it's the idea of imperfection. Because not everybody sees imperfections the same way. One person looks at something and goes, that's ugly. Another person looks at it and goes, it's perfect, it's beautiful. And so it's not real. When we're looking at that obsession on imperfections, we're  comparing it to the way we believe it should be. And a lot of times, the comparison of the way it should be isn't even real.

When people are comparing themselves to the body, they're comparing themselves to some model they saw in a magazine that's been touched up with Photoshop, or they're looking at some AI version of a human that isn't even a real human anymore on Facebook, not even realizing that it's not a human that's not a real human. It's literally AI built human. Now that people are watching and following and  interacting with, they don't even know it's a real person. And so it's the idea of, of the way it should be, right? It should be this way. And then we are obsessing about the imperfections, comparing the way we believe it should be. And it's the obsession of that imperfection that then drives a sense of disgust. 

Or we could do the same thing in relationship, or actions, or behavior, or the amount of money I make and feeling disgust in myself, because I'm not at a place other people are at, and I'm not far as long as other people are. And we can just keep going on and on and on with the way in which we can obsess about imperfections. And so when we allow the mind to obsess about imperfections, that tends to translate and turn into disgust. And the two things we wanna pay attention to is what's the imperfection we're focusing on, number one. But then we need to manage our perception of perfection. What is our perception of the way it's supposed to be, and make sure that as we adopt perceptions of how life should be, or where we should be at, or the way we should look to make sure that we are adopting real perceptions, number one. 

Because if we are relating to a fantasy perception, then we're never going to become, you know, we're never going to be able to move out of disgust, because we've literally decided we're going to live up to something that actually is impossible to attain. And if you're relating to something that's actually impossible to attain, man, is that a great way to get caught in and stuck in disgust potentially for the rest of our life? Right? And so instead of that, we want to look at these ideas of outcomes we want to achieve and make sure they're real and make sure they're healthy and make sure that they're possible. Is it real? Is it healthy? Is it possible? Will it actually give me what I'm looking for? Then if we're going to compare, instead of focusing on the imperfections, focus on progress. Focus on the ways in which you relate to that idea of yourself, that outcome you want to achieve, or acknowledge the progress you're making toward  that outcome, or what are the actions you're going to take from here to achieve that outcome and to realize it and to fulfill it. 

And again, all of this has to start with, and I cannot reinforce this enough, making sure that what you're relating to is healthy, is real and it's possible for you to attain. And then that's the thing you want to obsess about, and that's the thing you want to focus on. And then in terms of moving toward it, focus on the way in which you already emulate that. Focus on how you are that. Hey, you know what? I'm a human being. And so I can create that look if I want, I can create that aesthetic, I can create that level of health, I can become that fit because I have all of the mechanisms to make that possible, and I have access to the knowledge to achieve it. And so even if we're not there yet, we can still relate to it in a way we make it possible for us, right? Relatability, as though we're going to achieve it and we're moving in the direction, and it's really just a matter of time before we fulfill it. 

And so, remember, disgust is the obsession of imperfection, which often coincides with a fantasy idea of how something should be. And so if we eliminate that obsessing on imperfection and replace it with, how could this be possible? And make sure we're not focusing on an impossible idea of an outcome, but rather focus on an outcome and an image and an idea that we wish to achieve that's actually, again, real, possible and achievable. Right? It's believable. Then we're going to relate to life in a very, very different way. And then when we feel disgust, we tend to not treat ourselves very well. We tend to treat ourselves really poorly. We tend to isolate, we tend to actually, how do we say, refrain from the things that would actually produce the thing that we want, right? We tend to shy away from it. 

And so if we can catch ourself in that cycle of disgust, understand it has nothing to do with you. It has nothing, you know, it's not about you. It's not about us, so to speak. And then we can make that adjustment. Hey, what's the thing I want to strive for? What is it I want to achieve? And what are the ways in which I can make that happen? And then when we catch ourself obsessing about  imperfection, we want to take a pause and redirect. Hopefully this is helpful, and we'll see you again in a future session.