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Full Transcript:
[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Joey’s Performance Tune Up With Joey Klein. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Joey speaking unscripted and unedited. This video is captured in one take.]
So many parents that I, that I train and I work with in the space of feeling like they are failing their kids. They're not the parent that their kids deserve, they're not the parent that they want to be, and they're messing their children up.
And so whenever you find yourself here, a couple things that can be so very helpful is number one, understand that like all of us, no matter how good we are, no matter how evolved we are, you're going to bring some great things to your kids and, and you're going to teach them some awesome things and you're going to be a representation of some really great examples that they're going to take on and they're going to leverage and it's going to benefit their life.
And for sure, you're going to miss the mark sometimes and you're going to be a bad example for your kids. And there is nothing in. There's no way to achieve perfection in this role where you nail it all the time. And the reality is you don't have to. You're not supposed to.
And that's why we have many relationships in our life. Your children are learning from you and learning from their mentors, they're learning from some of their friends, they're learning from, you know, the social structures and environments in which they're in. And we could go on and on and on.
And then ultimately some of these things they're going to take on, and some of these things aren't even going to show up on their radar. And so, yes, you are supporting your kids to thrive, but you're not the only one supporting them to thrive. It's not all on you. And sure, are you maybe making some mistakes that your kids are going to have to know, sort of work through or figure out?
Are you, you know, messing your kids up in some ways, like for sure. And that's okay. It's part of the process, right? Nobody's perfect. And the reality is they're going to choose influences that you can't control at the end of the day, no matter how much you may want to, that are also going to mess them up a little bit.
And then they're going to have to figure that out and learn how to overcome that, to have the things in which they want in their life and ultimately decide who they're going to want to be in life. And so the whole point I'm trying to make here, that I hope you're understanding, is you don't need to be perfect, you need to do your best.
And as long as you're doing your best, your kids are going to be positioned to essentially do their best and they're going to find their way. And so don't put too much pressure on yourself, but rather acknowledge, yeah, I'm doing some good things, I'm messing some pieces up, acknowledge the things you mess up and fine tune it along the way.
Like, there is no reality where it's like, we're going to do this thing perfectly. I've seen parents also who have trained their kids and they've had two or three kids, right? And they. And for the most part, they were great parents and they hit the mark and they were great examples for their kids and gave their kids great opportunities and, you know, we're relatively awesome parents.
And it's like two of the children thrive and the third one struggling. And it's like, why? They all had the same influence. They all had the same support, they all had the same care given to them. And so this is just, you know, goes to say that it's not all on you at a point, it's also on your kids and what they're going to adopt, what they're going to take on and other influences in their life.
And so, in my opinion, be the best example you can be. Get inside of the vision of the parent you want to become and the version of yourself you want to aspire to and show your children that you are actively working to better yourself.
Because if you do this one thing, if you get clear on who you want to become and you create a vision of the parent you aspire to be, and you're actively working, you're actively bettering yourself, you are pursuing your ability to grow, then you're showing them that example and those places where they're going to struggle or when they're going to come face to face with life challenges, they're going to see that example and then they're going to take on the most important thing, which is the desire to grow beyond where they are, the willingness to grow for themselves.
And the best way you can get them to take this on is, is by simply doing it yourself. And show them an example of you evolving and you changing and you putting out the effort and putting in the effort to make a difference for yourself. And then they're going to see, oh, this is how to go through life.
This is what I can do. And so instead of trying to be the perfect parent, think about how can I be an example and a representation of how to see yourself and how to, you know, know, not be perfect and what to do in response to not being perfect and then how to hit the mark and celebrate that you hit the mark and know when you're doing a good job.
Because in my opinion, showing them that they don't need to be perfect by way of you don't need to be perfect and how you maneuver your shortcomings and your mistakes is probably going to be the most valuable thing you can possibly give them because when they're out in the world, it's not always going to be perfect and they're going to struggle and they're going to face hardship and they're going to be disappointed in who they are sometimes.
And if they have a blueprint of how to manage those spaces and what to do through you, that's in many ways one of the best things you can do to set your kids up to thrive.