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Full Transcript:
[The following is the full transcript of this episode of Joey’s Performance Tune Up With Joey Klein. Please note that this episode, like all episodes, features Joey speaking unscripted and unedited. This video is captured in one take.]
In this session, we're going to discuss acceptance and how training acceptance, or understanding acceptance is a bridge not just to intuition, but also personal power, like increasing your capacity for personal power. A lot of individuals, they think of acceptance as an endorsement. And I'd like to, you know, sort of give you a different way of thinking about acceptance here and why this is so important. So a lot of individuals, when they're looking at something, whether it's a dynamic going on in their office, and they're thinking, man, this is just not okay. The way people are being treated or the strategies being implemented are flawed, right? That acceptance of what's going on is an endorsement of what's happening. And so people will sort of fight against what's happening. And when we fight against what's happening or when we push against what's happening, we end up in a conflicted state, right? We end up in conflict not just with ourself, but with whatever we're pushing against.
And so all of a sudden, anger is there and resentment is there, and we start shutting down. Right. That's what I mean by we're in a conflict with ourself. As soon as we are unable to accept something, a lot of times people go, well, this happened to me, right? Like my husband or my wife or my significant other, they had an affair. And I just cannot accept that that happened. It wasn't okay, right? Like, somebody's behavior isn't okay. Or sometimes we have somebody in an addiction cycle, and that's a really hard thing to watch. If you've ever been in a situation like that where somebody's in an addiction cycle and you feel kind of helpless to be able to do anything for them, and you go, man, I just can't accept where they are. I can't accept what they're doing to themselves because it's so destructive to them and those around them. And so we look at these situations, and so many people, they go, Joey, I just can't accept that because it's not right or it's not okay.
And so what I invite you to do is change that idea, that concept, to I don't endorse it, right? I'm not sort of saying that I agree with it, because you can accept something and not endorse it. You can accept something and disagree with it, which is totally okay. And in my opinion, more important today than ever, right? So few people today seem to know how to just hold a difference of opinion with each other and have that be okay and live life, right? We need to be okay or find a way for harmony and for peace to occur, not just for ourselves and our life, but also the world at large and around us, to come to a place of understanding how to accept where other people are and understand we don't have to endorse where they are, but we can still accept them as a human being and accept where they are. So an acceptance is an acknowledgment of what's happening, an acknowledgment of where somebody is. It's not an endorsement of where they're at.
And so one more time, acceptance is the acknowledgment of something that happened. It's an acknowledgment of the current state of affairs. It's an acknowledgment of what is currently going on. It's not necessarily an endorsement of what's happening. Right. It doesn't necessarily mean that we agree with the thing that's going on. And so we can accept and not endorse. We can accept and still hold a different opinion about the situation. Right? And you say, well, why would I ever do that? Why does that matter? Well, what you will find is that if you can be authentic with yourself and really be willing to be transparent and objective, what you'll be able to do is you'll be able to go, man, I accept this is what's going on currently. I accept this is the situation or the circumstance. And you'll be able to hold a sense of peace for yourself in that. You'll be able to hold compassion for the situation instead of anger or disappointment or sadness. And that's going to give you the ability to influence the space in a radically different way. And so it gives you access to a much higher capacity of personal power and ability to make a change, to create the things you want in your life and to influence the situation.
If we can hold a space of personal power with it and come from a place of those higher emotional states and higher intelligence, such as compassion, such as a sense of feeling empowered, a sense of peace and things of that nature, somebody's a lot more apt to hear your difference of opinion if you're holding that space than if you're angry, because I don't know about you, but when somebody comes at me and they're angry, my impulse is just to fight against them, whether they're right or wrong or not right. It sort of, like, triggers or activates this natural desire to push against whatever's coming at you rightfully so, because your brain is going, here's angry human coming at me. I don't know if I'm safe. And so we go into this reaction to fight, right? Fight or flight. Fight, flight or flee. And so, man, if you can accept a situation, acknowledge what's happening there now, you can go, great. What's the influence I want to have? What's the outcome that I want to try to create here?
And so in some of those examples that I gave earlier, the way it tends to start to sound is, oh, I accept that as of right now, this person I care about is in this, say, situation or addiction cycle. And they don't have the ability to change their circumstances right now. And for right now, they're not able to make different choices. Hey, man, I can love them anyway. I can accept where they are. I can hold a space of compassion for them, and I can present opportunities to them so that maybe they make a different choice today and they have something available to them. Or maybe it happens in a year and I can be present. I can hold space for that. And now all of a sudden, we've got a lot more power to influence a situation than if we're unwilling to accept the situation. People get caught in the same space where they're trying to forgive something, right? People say, Joey, I just need to forgive them for this affair they had or for hurting me in this way or the bad thing they did to them. And they can't reconcile that because their idea is, I'm going to somehow be okay with something that was immoral or unethical or was destructive or hurtful.
And the reality is you're not going to make yourself okay with somebody who did something immoral, unethical or destructive or hurtful. And so forgiveness can be a great bridge to acceptance. As an example, hey, I'm ready to go beyond that. Like, in my mind, forgiveness is a step, and it can be a great step. It can be a powerful step. And so if you're in that place of, man, I'm ready to forgive the situation. What I find people are really saying is, I'm ready to go beyond this. And so think of forgiveness not as, again, that same kind of endorsement. I'm trying to make myself okay with something that's not. You can go, man, this thing that happened wasn't okay. I'm ready to go beyond it. Great. Now let's go to the next step after forgiveness, called acceptance. And then intuition comes, which is how do we bridge the gap from where we are with what's happening to the outcome that we'd like to achieve, right? Man, I want to know love and connection with this person who's struggling. I want to be able to support them. I want to stand for their highest. I want to go on and have a happy and fulfilling relationship in my next step and understand that and move past this relationship that didn't work out and I'm ready for the thing that I deserve to have and that's next for me.
And so acceptance is a bridge to intuition because it gives us permission, it gives us the ability to focus on where we're going and how to create that relative to the situation that's going on right now, as opposed to when we are in a place of non acceptance. We end up focusing on what's not working and inherently the past and what's happened. And that can actually keep us from what we deserve to have in our life and what you deserve to know and what you can create. And so I hope this is a helpful positioning to start practicing and training in your life. Again, acceptance isn't something that just happens. It's something we train. It's an ability that we develop. And the first step to developing that ability is start just each day going through your day, or when you notice you find some sticky points that are sort of causing you pain, to just start looking at it and going, man, here's what's happening. I accept that's what's occurring.
Now, what can I do to influence the outcome that I'd like to create? What is the outcome I'd like to create from here? Hey, I accept this is what's occurring. I accept that it's not necessarily an endorsement, it's just an acknowledgment of what's occurring. See if you can hold a place of centered peace with that. A place of compassion for the space, right? A place of faith that, man, this is going to change and get better. And then let's focus on the outcome we want to achieve. And, man, can you respond to the things that are occurring in such a powerful way if you train this skill and you get pretty good at this. And so enjoy hope you're having a great day, and I look forward to seeing you at Power of Intuition down the road sometime where we can train this in depth. And we'll look forward to seeing you very soon.